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I can imagine McLain, a decade or more from now, looking back at the antiquated blog his father maintained so infrequently. Because he inherited a penchant for keen observation from his mother, he’ll quickly notice that Jackie was the subject of weekly updates during her first five weeks and that he was the focus of only two updates (with his father’s ramblings about a novel in between). He’ll think to himself:
Wow…unbelievable…it’s true that the first child gets all the attention and the second child plays second fiddle his whole life. This is the proverbial straw. I’m NOT doing my chores, especially dog poop patrol in the back yard, anytime soon.
He’ll read this post and decide to go punch his sister, tell Baxter to “get outta here” even though he’s 16 years old, ridicule Robah for slobbering, or do something else to vent his second-child frustration.
Well, I want to set the record straight. His mother and I love him just as much as we love his sister. And if that isn’t enough to placate him, he hasn’t worn any pink hand-me-down clothes at any time. Maybe there was a gently-used toile nightgown in his wardrobe once or twice, but nothing overtly pink and Jackiesque.
McLain has gained significant weight, and is now a thriving baby instead of a shriveled newborn; Katie deserves all the credit. His diapers are printed with the numbers 1-2, rather than the N for newborn. His blue eyes are open for an hour at a time now. He has settled into his schedule, even though he hasn’t yet totally settled into ours. Like his sister before him, he sleeps for long stretches at night and spends his daylight hours squirming, alert, and sometimes screaming. He’s also earned his first nickname, Lil’ Main (Main instead of Man, like the Memphis-area pronunciation in Hustle & Flow).
Bob Pollard of the band Guided by Voices wrote a song called My Son Cool for his little guy. You can listen to it here. I expect hear it live Friday night at their show in Carrboro. When I do, I will think of that little guy and how daggone cool he is.
Here are some of our favorite pictures from the weeks after his birth.
McLain is now two weeks old and doing just great. Two weeks might not be quite enough time to really get to know someone who doesn’t talk or even open his eyes very often, but I will attempt to describe what I know about him so far in the form of a bulleted list:
- I don’t know if there’s such a thing as a “Tar Heel born,” but McLain definitely shares one characteristic with Rameses. He bleats. What I mean is that he makes a staccato sound similar to that of a baby sheep. You know, something like baa-aa-aa-aa-aa-ha-aa. So, his first nickname is hereby McLamb.
- His newborn temperament is relaxed, and he’s fairly quiet when he isn’t bleating or crying for a nursing session.
- His eyes are bluish and greenish, although that is subject to change in the next several months.
- The little guy has George Gershwin/Jelly Roll Morton-type fingers. His phalanges seem to be more mature than the rest of him. I remember Jackie having similar fingers.
- Just as Jackie seemed to favor a particular electronic album, The Field’s From Here We Go Sublime, McLain is fond of Black Noise by Pantha du Prince. I only have two data points, but my theory is that infants enjoy contemporary minimalist European techno.
Overall, Katie and I feel like the addition of McLain to the family has gone very well. Katie continues to manage McLain’s nursing schedule, and he continues to gain weight. Jackie has been completely accepting of her new brother; I haven’t yet seen her show any sign of jealousy toward him. She amazes me with her ability to accept dramatic changes and put her best Ked forward (she gets this from her mother).
The only really rough patch was when I contracted a stomach bug on an outing with Jackie to the Museum of Natural Sciences downtown. I was incapacitated and quarantined in the guest bedroom for about 30 hours. Katie could have handled everything on her own, but we were lucky to get a visit from Steve Saville the second night of my illness. He was finishing a project in Fayetteville and made the drive to Raleigh last Thursday evening. Steve bought dinner, helped with the kids, and made us all feel better about things when we needed it most — just the kind of thing a good friend does when you really need the assistance.
Last and also least, Robah and Baxter are looking to each to each other for entertainment now more than ever before. But, with all the time they’ve spent hanging around with a newborn and a toddler, there hasn’t been the slightest problem. I expect this kind of cooperation from Robah. With Baxter, you just can’t know what to expect, but he’s been really good as well.
Here’s a video with footage from the first hour after McLain’s birth, his first real meeting with his mother, and the introduction of his big sister.
We had a photo session with Jessica Lobdell the Sunday before last. She and Simon are good people, and they were really patient with us. If you live in the Triangle, and need a professional with an excellent eye, call Jessica. She posted several pics of our family on her blog: http://jmbentonphoto.blogspot.com/2010/09/new-baby-boy.html. The next-to-last image on her blog speaks volumes (from Baxter’s perspective, at least). More on that later.
Finally, here are a slew of pictures that Katie and I took, mostly from McLain’s first several days.
Thanks again to my parents and Katie’s parents. My mom and dad held down the fort during those first couple of hectic days. Katie’s mom has made a couple of trips from Georgia to help for extended periods, and her dad entertained Jackie during her second trip to Kenan Stadium the weekend before last.
Our baby turned into a little girl. I know it’s not exactly a revelation that a child grows up, but when it’s your child, and it happens before (and away from) your eyes, it is startling in a very gradual way.
Jackie at the Underwood Elementary playground down the street (photo credit: Andy Blair)
Believe me, Spring in North Carolina is magical when you experience it with Jackie. I will no longer take the combination of ideal weather, my family, and my neighborhood for granted; every minute spent outdoors, downtown, at the farmers market, in the backyard is precious. Anytime we stroll down White Oak Road, we get to know the people living around us.
One neighbor in particular is special. Drew lives down the street, and he already seems to have a bond with Jackie.
Jackie and Drew, Easter snacking at Fallon Park
Jackie and Drew, tandem sliding
April and May have bestowed halcyon days on our family. Jackie is developing in so many ways. Her vocabulary is expanding, she’s confident on her feet, and her personality is revealed a little more all the time. I love my girls more than anything. I am so grateful for my boys (Bax and Robah). And, come September, another boy will join us, even though when we ask Jackie if she wants a little brother, she responds with an emphatic NO.
Jackie at the playground, looking for McLain?
The few inches of snow that fell in the Triangle were enough to keep us in the neighborhood over the past few days. Actually, that’s one of the best things about being snowed in; everyone is forced to think and act locally. We hung out with distant cousins who live really close. We also caught up with other neighbors we haven’t seen in awhile.
Oh, and I need to give credit for a family record that was set over the weekend. Baxter broke his own record: 15 consecutive long-range frisbee receptions. “Long-range” in this case means more than 50 feet. His previous best was 12, in September of 2007. Whatta good boy.
Here’s some sledding video that Katie shot over the weekend.
Jackie and her cohort Drew had their first real taste of snow after several inches fell in Raleigh last night and this morning. Of course, 20 minutes of getting the little ones ready led to only 15 minutes of good sledding before the youngsters got cold and ornery, but we really had a blast. I’m proud to say that Jackie and I held our own in head-to-head racing with the Blair duo from down the street.
Big thanks to Sarah B. for scoring sleds and snow boots for us to use — it wasn’t easy for new parents to find these high-demand items in the Triangle yesterday, but she came through for us.
Jackie is no longer a baby now that she is walking here, there, and everywhere. Before Christmas she had a breakthrough — 12 or 14 consecutive steps. A few days after Christmas, with burgeoning confidence, she was walking anytime she had the chance. Nowadays, it’s not unusual to see her do a lap around our foursquare house with a sippy cup in one hand and a maraca shaking in the other. Here’s some video from December 29, 2009.
My mother’s side of the family, the Watsons, came to our house for Thanksgiving dinner. We were thrilled to host the Watsons. My parents attended, as did the Watsons (Danny and Janice, from Burlington), the Hudsons (Nancy, Gary, Chris, Angie, Lindsay, and Darren Austin, all of whom drove here from Charlotte), the Prices (Carolyn, Will, Ashley, Ryan, from Burlington), and Katie’s cousin Lee (from Chapel Hill). Lee was the outsider who everyone enjoyed having, especially me (he washed a lot of dishes).
The meal was headlined by Katie’s 25-pound turkey, which was the most robust, delicious bird I’ve ever eaten. I could kick myself for not taking a picture of that beast.
All the sides and desserts were equally delectable. Jackie, Baxter, and Robah also enjoyed our company. My father had everyone singing along to his new party game. The working title is What’s Next, and he tailored the clues to the personal interests of the family members in attendance.
We appreciate y’all for spending the holiday in Five Points, and it was darn good to catch up with everyone. Also, thanks to my parents for looking after the baby while we prepped.
The latest, greatest parlor game: What's Next
Goofin' off before company arrives
Baby time with Aunt Carolyn, Cousin Will, and two of her top-notch grandparents
Strolling with Gramps and Great Uncle Danny
Good boys get turkey cracklin'
Strolling some more...watch out for the many sidewalk cracks JBJ
JBJ poses atop her old man
Halloween weekend was a lot of fun for us. Nana arrived fairly late last Friday night from Georgia. Saturday, the family across the street invited us to their son’s birthday party. The spread of food was bountiful — our neighbors are Montagnards, part of an ethnic group from Vietnam,
and they prepared a feast for their friends and family. We were lucky to be invited, and even though we arrived only a couple of hours after we ate lunch, I couldn’t turn down the pho-like bowl of soup they prepared for me. While Jackie played with two other babies on the floor of their living room, Katie and I sampled items from the buffet in the kitchen.
One of the older men there explained that Montagnard/Degar people supported U.S. forces in the Vietnam war, and that outside of Vietnam, Raleigh has one of the largest Montagnard communities in the world. I don’t know much else about their culture, but they definitely have food figured out — rich meat flavors, aromatic ingredients added ad hoc to suit personal taste (cilantro, basil, lime), and plenty of heat from raw or semi-cooked peppers. Our sinuses cleared, we crossed the street to get ready for some sugar-free trick-or-treating.
Quick background: Just after Katie and I moved into our current house last summer, I discovered that a friendly neighbor down the street was actually my second cousin once removed. He informed me that another mutual cousin lives on our street, between our house and his. So, I have a second cousin once removed and a third cousin (neither of whom had I met before) who live within one city block of me on the same street.
Early Halloween evening we met up with the Blairs (my third cousin, her husband, and their son, who is about the same age as Jackie), and hauled the little ones (a monkey and a spider) down to Fallon Park for the neighborhood Halloween Parade & Potluck. We got there just in time to see some interesting costumes, and even a few families that showed costume solidarity — dad, mom, and kids had coordinated outfits. And, some of these kids looked like they were in middle school. I’m pretty sure I was enough of a brat as a teenager that I would have sneered/jeered at anyone who suggested that my family dress up with a unified Halloween theme.
We left the park and headed back to our street, where we stopped by neighbors’ houses to show off the babies and turn down candy offers. Of course, Katie and I weren’t counting on 75 degrees and sun when we ordered Jackie’s monkey suit, so she seemed relieved when we finished our tour up and down our street.
Thanks to Sarah Shanahan for flying down from NYC to visit us the weekend before last. We thoroughly enjoyed catching up with her, and it took very little time for Sarah to endear herself to Jackie (see the pictures below).
Sarah, a nutritionist, also tolerated a lot of food and health-related questions during her stay. You would think that having a health-wise visitor might inspire us to put our most wholesome foot forward, but this was not the case. Instead, Katie and I introduced her to some of the most decadent cuisine Raleigh has to offer (pizza at Lilly’s and BBQ at The Pit). At least we didn’t offer some ridiculous flavor of Vitamin Water, like Essential or Rescue, to go with her English muffin at breakfast.
Standing practice can be fun
Jackie, doing her best innocent expression
Katie with Sarah, Sarah, and Sara
Just a quick pat on the back to Katie, who whipped up a homemade flan for Family Supper Club a couple of weeks ago. I’ve never tasted a better custard in any form. She may be a working mom with a lot going on, but she still has the skill set and energy to crank out good eats!
I think I spent the dog food money 